“You can respect someone's goals without accepting disrespect for your time, your work or your peace.”

Well, where the hell do I even start today? Seriously. I can't remember the last time I was this close to throwing my hands in the air, walking away from everything and saying FUCK IT. And when I say I considered walking away, I mean I actually had the thought of updating my resume cross my mind this morning. Yep. Me. The woman who's been working her ass off building businesses, helping other people build theirs and chasing some pretty big dreams of her own actually sat there wondering whether it might be easier to go find a regular job and let somebody else deal with all this bullshit for a change. Now, before anyone panics, I'm not announcing that I'm quitting anything. But I am going to be completely honest about where my head was this morning, because pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows when it's absolutely not has never really been my style.

I was up at 5:30 this morning, long before the sun even thought about making an appearance, and I was EXCITED about the day ahead. I'd gone to bed with a plan. I knew which client projects I wanted to tackle, which pieces of my own business needed attention and which things around the house I was hoping to get accomplished. I'd even had a conversation with hubby about taking the Jeep into the city tomorrow for its out-of-province inspection, so I was looking forward to getting a few things organized ahead of that. And if everything went according to plan, I was hoping to clean out the garage, run into town for some shelf hangers and maybe even surprise hubby by getting the garage down to the projects that genuinely need an extra set of hands. You know those mornings when you wake up feeling motivated, organized and ready to absolutely kick ass? That was me.

For approximately five fucking minutes. LOL. Although I can assure you I wasn't laughing at the time.

Before I'd even had my first coffee, that excitement was completely squashed. My plans were thrown out the window, my mood went straight into the toilet and I found myself staring at yet another situation that could have been avoided with some basic communication and a little respect for the work other people have already done. And before I get too far into this, I want to make something VERY clear. This is not about my clients. I genuinely love the people I work with, and I have an incredible amount of respect for the goals they're working toward. It's also not about the amazing people I've chosen to bring onto my team. Those people have been absolute lifesavers, especially over the last few months. This is about other people involved in projects who seem to have absolutely no understanding of how their decisions, delays and lack of communication affect everyone else.

And today, I think I finally hit my limit.

Now, I know I'm not always the easiest person in the world. I've got opinions, I ask questions and I'm certainly not afraid to speak up when something doesn't make sense. But when it comes to working with people, I'd say I'm pretty damn easy to get along with about 99% of the time. I'm flexible, I'm willing to adjust plans and I understand that projects evolve. Things change. New ideas come up. Sometimes something that looked great on paper doesn't work quite the way everyone expected once you actually start putting it together. That's normal, and I have absolutely no problem working through those situations. But there's a big difference between a project naturally evolving and constantly having to redo completed work because somebody couldn't be bothered to communicate a decision they already knew was coming.

And that's exactly where my frustration is coming from.

When we start a project, there are conversations about how things are going to be organized, where files will be stored and how everyone involved will access the information they need. I take the time to set those systems up. I make sure people have access, sometimes more than once, and I send the information out so everyone knows where to find what they're looking for. I do the work that's been requested, often in an order that makes absolutely no sense to me because somebody somewhere has apparently decided that putting the cart before the horse is the preferred method of project management. LOL. And even when the list of requests changes, which it often does, I adjust, reorganize and keep things moving because at the end of the day, I want the project to be successful.

But here's where today's situation really pushed me over the edge. Weeks ago, one particular person was responsible for making a relatively simple edit to a book's cover. Nothing that should have required the rest of us to stop what we were doing. Just a change that needed to be made so everyone else could continue building the pieces that depended on having the correct, finalized cover. We knew the change was coming, and I was told it would be handled. Simple enough, right?

Well, apparently not.

Because that SAME person has spent the last several weeks pushing for everything else to be completed. Landing pages for events, websites, content, graphics, PDF companion workbooks for the book, presentations for upcoming talks and all the other little pieces that go into getting a project ready for the world. We've been asked about deadlines, updates, progress and when things would be finished. And we've been working our asses off to get those things done, even when the order of operations made absolutely no sense and we were essentially being asked to build the house before the foundation was finished.

And the entire time, the simple cover edit that person was responsible for still hadn't been done.

So imagine my absolute delight when I wake up this morning to discover that the cover has FINALLY been changed (even though I had to message around to get a copy - because no it wasn't put in the folder). After weeks of being pushed to complete everything else. After websites were finished, content was created, scheduled, and published, graphics were designed, workbooks were put together and presentations were submitted as final. NOW the cover has been updated, and all those pieces that were completed using the previous version need to be reviewed and, in many cases, changed.

Are you fucking kidding me?

That's the part that really gets under my skin. It's not that the cover changed. It's not even the fact that we have to make edits. I understand that things evolve, especially with creative projects. But when the person responsible for making that change is also the person who's been up everyone else's ass about getting everything finished, while their own outstanding task was sitting there holding up the accuracy of everything being created, that's a whole different story. You cannot spend weeks demanding that everyone else meet deadlines and then act as though it's no big deal when your own delay creates hours upon hours of additional work for those same people.

And this isn't a matter of one little graphic needing to be swapped out.

We're talking about websites that have been completed for weeks and now need graphic changes. Content that's already been published over the last few weeks or months that needs to be reviewed to see what requires updating. Photos and promotional graphics that were created based on the information we had. Landing pages for events that were already built. Presentations for future speaking engagements that were submitted LAST WEEK and marked final. Not to mention the PDF companion workbooks and other materials that have been worked on alongside the book itself.

All of that work represents time. Real time. Hours spent creating, reviewing, editing, organizing and making sure everything was ready to go. And now some of it needs to be done again because one person didn't complete the task they were responsible for when they said they would.

If this had been an unexpected change, something nobody saw coming, I'd probably have shrugged my shoulders and said, "Well, shit happens." Because it does. But that's not what happened here. We knew this change was coming. It was discussed weeks ago. There was time to get it done before all the other materials were completed. Instead, the people who were actually getting their work finished are now the ones having to rearrange their schedules and clean up the mess.

And to make matters even more frustrating, we're still dealing with requests for information that's already been provided. Multiple times.

I mean, how many times can you send someone the same damn Google Drive folder before you start wondering whether your emails are disappearing into some mysterious black hole? LOL. We agreed where the files would live. Everyone was given access. The photos were requested weeks ago, and they've been sent multiple times since. Yet somehow, here we are again, explaining where everything is located as though the entire system was invented five minutes ago. And every one of those conversations takes time. Every repeated request interrupts something else. Every unnecessary change creates another ripple effect across work that was already finished.

And that time has to come from somewhere.

Usually, it comes from my own projects, my personal plans or the things I was hoping to get done around the house. And that, more than anything, is what really got under my skin this morning. Because I had made time for all of those things. I had organized my schedule, planned my day and gotten up early specifically so I could make progress on the things that mattered to me. And before the day had even properly started, I was being forced to rearrange everything because somebody else hadn't followed through on something they were supposed to handle weeks ago.

I was PISSED.

Not mildly irritated. Not a little frustrated. I'm talking the kind of pissed off where you can feel it in your entire body, where your brain starts racing through every other time something like this has happened and suddenly you're questioning why the hell you keep putting yourself in these situations. And for once, I wasn't particularly interested in pretending otherwise. I've been working really hard on how I manage my emotions, learning to recognize when I'm getting overwhelmed and finding ways to respond without immediately reacting. But today was one of those mornings when I genuinely wanted to shut everything down and walk away.

Of course, one of the amazing girls on my team immediately offered to take on whatever I needed to pass over. And let me tell you, having people in your corner who are willing to step up like that means more than I can explain. But here's the problem. She already has a mountain of edits to deal with because of these changes, and the last thing I want is for her to be sitting up all night trying to clean up somebody else's mess. She also happens to be nowhere near close enough to come help me clean out the garage or tackle the other home projects I'd planned. LOL. And as wonderful as it would be, I haven't yet figured out how to download everything happening inside my brain and transfer it directly into somebody else's so they can review all the projects I was planning to work through today.

Believe me, if someone invents that technology, I'll probably be first in line.

So instead of jumping straight into the day I'd planned, I spent some time making quick edits, moving things around, making calls and putting together yet another fucking to-do list. Because apparently yesterday's blog about tossing the to-do list wasn't enough of a warning. LOL. Then I did something that six months ago I probably wouldn't have done nearly as quickly. I turned off my phone, put on some music and walked away from the computer.

And I went to take care of my animals.

Now, when you've got as many animals as we do, there's no shortage of things that need attention, regardless of what kind of mood you're in. The water containers needed filling, the outdoor buckets had a layer of ice on them this morning, and everyone needed their usual morning routines. Of course, because I was up at 5:30, the dogs apparently decided that meant THEY were all getting up early too, which resulted in an extra rotation being added to the day. Because why the hell not? LOL. So I worked my way through everyone's first round of morning rotations, filled water, scrubbed containers and focused on things that were actually right in front of me instead of sitting at my desk getting angrier by the minute.

And honestly, there was something helpful about that. Not because scooping, scrubbing and filling buckets is some magical cure for frustration, but because it gave me something physical to focus on while my brain worked through everything that had happened. The animals don't give a shit about project deadlines, website graphics or whether somebody remembered to check their Google Drive. They want their food, their water, their time outside and whatever attention they can convince me to give them. And sometimes that's exactly the kind of reality check I need when the business side of life starts making me question my sanity.

After that, I watered and fertilized all my plants, got some laundry going and made myself an actual breakfast instead of waiting until my usual brunch time. I took some time to breathe, listen to music and try to get my emotions back to a place where I could sit down and work without wanting to throw my computer across the room. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I realized that even though I was still furious, I was handling the situation differently than I would have in the past.

I wasn't firing off angry messages. I wasn't taking my frustration out on the people who had nothing to do with creating the problem. I wasn't making some massive decision about my future while I was sitting in the middle of an emotional storm. I was giving myself time to work through what I was feeling before deciding what needed to happen next.

But here's where I'm going to be completely honest.

I'm still pissed off.

Yep. Even after the music, the animals, the housework, the breakfast and the time away from my phone, I'm still sitting here feeling angry about what happened this morning. And I'm not going to pretend otherwise just because I've been talking so much lately about emotional regulation, personal growth and learning to approach things differently. Because regulating your emotions doesn't mean you magically stop feeling them. It doesn't mean you have to smile through every frustrating situation or convince yourself that something is okay when it absolutely isn't.

Sometimes it simply means recognizing that you're angry, understanding why you're angry and choosing what you're going to do with that anger.

And today, I'm choosing to make some changes.

Not necessarily the kind of changes that involve throwing away everything I've spent years building, although I won't lie, that thought still has a little appeal right now. LOL. I'm talking about boundaries. Real boundaries. The kind that determine who I'm willing to work with, what situations I'm willing to put myself in and how much unnecessary chaos I'm prepared to allow into my life.

Because I've realized something over the last couple of years. There are people I absolutely LOVE working with. People who communicate, respect the work being done, understand that everyone involved has responsibilities outside of their particular project and genuinely want to see the people around them succeed. Those are the people who make me excited to get up in the morning, tackle challenges and build something amazing together. And thankfully, that list has grown tremendously.

But there's another list too.

It's a much smaller list, but it's the list of people I will never work with again. And unfortunately, that list has also grown over the last couple of years. Not because I expect everyone to do things exactly the way I do or because I'm unwilling to deal with difficult situations. I've dealt with plenty of those over the years. But because there comes a point when repeated disrespect for other people's time, effort and responsibilities stops being a misunderstanding and starts becoming something I'm simply not willing to participate in anymore.

And today, somebody else earned themselves a spot on that list.

Going forward, if a client chooses to work with certain people, that's absolutely their decision. I respect that. But I also have the right to decide whether I want to be involved in a project under those circumstances. And there are situations where my answer is going to be no. Not because I don't care about the client or their goals, but because I care enough about my own time, energy and well-being to recognize when a working relationship simply isn't worth the frustration it repeatedly creates.

That's not something I would have said quite so confidently a few years ago.

Back then, I probably would have continued bending over backward, rearranging my schedule and convincing myself that I just needed to be more patient, more flexible or more understanding. And don't get me wrong, those are all qualities I value. But there's a point where flexibility becomes allowing other people to treat your time as though it doesn't matter. And I'm not interested in continuing down that road.

Especially when I've got some pretty big dreams of my own that deserve my attention.

Because that's another part of what made this morning so frustrating. Every hour I spend revisiting completed work because of preventable problems is an hour I'm not spending on the programs I'm building, the website I'm planning to rework or the bigger vision I've been slowly bringing to life. It's time I'm not spending with my husband, working around the homestead or simply enjoying the life I'm working so hard to create. And while I will always do my best to honour the commitments I've made, I'm becoming much more aware that I need to honour the commitments I've made to myself too.

So here I am, finally sitting down to write today's blog before I even look at the latest version of that ridiculous to-do list. The dogs and cats have all been fed, a couple of rotations are done, two of the three watering systems have been scrubbed and refilled, the laundry is going and the basement has been pumped. I've accomplished a whole bunch of things that weren't necessarily how I planned to spend my morning, and I'm trying to give myself a little credit for that instead of focusing entirely on everything that got pushed aside.

Am I feeling better than I was at 5:30 this morning? A little.

Am I completely over it? Not even fucking close. LOL.

And maybe that's okay too. Maybe I don't need to turn every difficult day into some perfectly wrapped-up inspirational lesson before the day is even over. Maybe sometimes the lesson is simply that I've reached a limit, I recognize it and I'm going to do something about it. I don't need to pretend I'm grateful for the frustration or that everything happens for some wonderful reason. Sometimes people make decisions that create unnecessary work for others, and sometimes those decisions have consequences.

Today, one of those consequences is that I've made a decision about who I'm willing to work with in the future.

But here's the other thing. Even with all that frustration, even with the thought of updating my resume floating through my head this morning, I still have an enormous amount of respect for my clients and the dreams they're working toward. I know how much these projects mean to them. I know how hard they've worked, what they've invested and how excited they are about what they're creating. And I'm not about to let somebody else's lack of communication become the reason those goals don't get the attention they deserve.

So yes, I'm going to get the work done.

Not for the people who seem to think the entire world should rearrange itself around their timeline, regardless of how their decisions affect everyone else. I'm going to do it for the clients who trusted me to help bring their visions to life. For the people who have been putting their hearts into these projects and deserve to see them succeed. And because at the end of the day, I take pride in the work I do, even when the circumstances surrounding that work make me want to scream into a pillow.

But I'm also going to remember this morning when it comes time to make decisions about future projects, future collaborations and where I want to invest my energy. Because I'm not building my own business just to recreate the kind of working environment that made me want to walk away from everything in the first place.

I'm building something different.

Something that allows me to work with people I genuinely respect, create things I'm proud of and have the freedom to spend time on the parts of life that matter most to me. And if protecting that vision means saying no to certain opportunities or refusing to work with certain people, then that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So no, I'm not updating my resume today. I'm not quitting, and I'm not walking away from everything I've worked so hard to build. But I'm also not going to pretend this morning didn't happen or that I'm suddenly fine with it just because I've managed to get through a few chores and write a blog.

I'm angry. I'm disappointed. I'm frustrated. And I'm allowed to be all of those things while still being professional, honouring my commitments and making thoughtful decisions about what comes next.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for the dogs' next post-breakfast rotation, and I think another cup of coffee is definitely in order. At this point, I'm half tempted to make it Irish. LOL.

And after that? I'll take another look at the to-do list, figure out what actually needs my attention and get back to work. Because I have a shit ton of respect for my clients, their goals and the trust they've placed in me.

But I'm learning to have that same level of respect for myself.

And that means some things are going to change.

Let's go Do the Dang Thang!