“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

Well... fuck. 😂

That was the quote waiting for me on my quote-of-the-day calendar this morning, and I gotta admit, that one stung a little. Not because I don't love what I do - because I honestly LOVE my clients and the work I do with them - but because apparently the universe has decided we're past the gentle nudging stage. Over the last few days there have been way too many little reminders pointing me back toward the same thing: stop making excuses and start making focused time for your own coaching business. And then my calendar decides to come swinging this morning with build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs. Okayyyyy, I fucking hear you.

The funny thing is, I think this really started clicking while I was in Utah. There was this moment when I was standing in the warm salty water, looking around, taking everything in, and my brain immediately went, I need to host a retreat here. Not "wouldn't that be cool someday?" It was this instant feeling of I NEED to bring women here. I could picture the conversations, the notebooks, the reflection, the coaching, the laughter, the quiet moments and all the other pieces that would go into it. Of course, approximately thirty seconds later my thoughts shifted to why the fuck didn't I bring a chair, why is my blanket still in the Jeep, and WHY did I leave my notebook behind?! lol But even without the notebook, the idea stuck.

And honestly, so did the feeling I had standing there.

There have been a lot of ideas floating around in my head for Do The Dang Thang over the last few years. Coaching programs, courses, communities, retreats, readings, workshops, all the random things that show up when my brain decides we're going down another rabbit hole. I research the shit out of them. I make notes. I price things. I research platforms. I figure out how I could deliver them. I reorganize my calendar so I can magically find another twelve hours in a day. I create folders and Google Docs and Canva files and probably another damn spreadsheet somewhere... and then somehow client work pops up and my stuff gets moved down the list again.

Now before anyone takes that the wrong way, this is NOT me complaining about my clients. I absolutely love helping people build their businesses. I love when someone throws me a messy pile of ideas and I get to help turn it into something real. I love watching someone get excited when the pieces finally start clicking together. I love the websites, the strategy, the content, the brainstorming and the random messages that start with some version of "Okay, hear me out..." because let's get real, I'm usually the queen of those messages myself. lol Helping people build their shit genuinely brings me joy, and I wouldn't want to completely stop doing that.

But I also have to admit something that is slightly uncomfortable.

Sometimes helping everyone else build their dreams has become a really convenient way to avoid building mine.

OUCH.

Because I can tell myself I'm busy. And technically, I'm not lying. I'm fucking BUSY. There is always something that needs to be written, researched, designed, fixed, uploaded, scheduled, reviewed or discussed. I can fill twelve hours without even trying. But there's a difference between being busy and intentionally moving toward the things I keep saying I want. Spending three hours researching something I might build isn't the same as building it. Reorganizing my calendar AGAIN isn't the same as protecting the time I've already put on it. Learning another system isn't the same as finishing the offer that's already sitting there waiting for me.

And if my clients knew how many times I've put one of my own projects on the back burner because something for them came across my desk, they'd probably kick my ass. LMAO Ladies, if you're reading this, I KNOW. And before any of you start feeling guilty, don't. It's not you. It's absolutely ME. Nobody is standing over me demanding I abandon everything I'm building. In fact, the people I'm working with now are probably some of the biggest cheerleaders for what I'm creating. I'm the one who has to stop automatically deciding that everyone else's deadline, idea or project belongs above mine.

Because if I'm being really, really honest with myself, there's another reason I do it.

My stuff scares me.

There. I said it.

It's much easier for me to confidently look at someone else's business and say, "Girl, this is good. Put it out there," than it is to look at my own creation and do the same damn thing. When it's someone else's project, I can see the potential without all the emotional crap attached to it. When it's mine, suddenly my brain has approximately 7,842 questions. What if nobody wants it? What if I think it's brilliant and everyone else is like, meh? What if I put months into something and it flops? What if I finally put one of these ideas out there and someone with a much bigger audience takes it, tweaks it, rebrands it and suddenly they're known for the thing I created?

And yes, before someone tells me that's just fear talking, I KNOW. But that last one isn't some completely imaginary fear my brain invented at 2 a.m. I've had my ideas taken before. I've watched things I created show up somewhere else dressed in different clothes. So there's definitely a little piece of me that learned somewhere along the way that keeping my ideas close feels safer.

But safe doesn't build the dream either.

I can protect my work as much as reasonably possible. I can document it, brand it, put my voice all over it and build the damn thing in a way that is unmistakably mine. What I can't do is hide every good idea in a Google Doc until I'm 97 years old because I'm afraid somebody might copy me. Because if nobody ever sees the thing, sure, nobody can steal it... but nobody can fucking benefit from it either.

Then there's the other piece - the one I'm probably going to have to keep working on for a while - that little self-confidence block that likes to whisper, Who the hell are you to do this? Never mind the years of experience. Never mind the people who have already told me they want what I'm building. Never mind the beta programs, conversations, messages and feedback. Apparently my brain is perfectly capable of collecting mountains of evidence that I'm onto something and then looking at all of it and saying, "Yeahhhh... but are we SURE?" 😂

And maybe that's part of what Utah shifted for me too.

I came home with a lot more than conference notes, Solex information and an absolutely ridiculous amount of shit crammed into my luggage. There was clarity there that I haven't felt in a long time. Standing in that salt water imagining a retreat wasn't about immediately running home and booking a venue. It was bigger than that. It was one of those moments where I could actually SEE part of the life I've been talking about building. Not just another project. Not another thing on my to-do list. The bigger picture.

I want the coaching. I want the community. I want the programs. I want the retreats. I want the freedom to travel and work and create. I want to help people get out of their own damn way because God knows I've spent enough years learning how easy it is to stand in your own. I want a business that supports my family and gives me the freedom to actually BE with them instead of repeating the years where work always came first. I want a team around me so I don't have to personally hold every tiny moving piece. And yes, I still want to help my clients build incredible shit along the way.

Those things don't have to compete with each other.

But they DO require me to stop treating my own business like the thing I'll get to when everyone else's work is finished, because let's be fucking real - everyone's work is NEVER going to be finished. There will always be another email. Another graphic. Another website tweak. Another message. Another brilliant idea someone needs help sorting through. Another client project I could happily lose three hours inside because helping other people is comfortable for me.

At some point I have to choose my dream too.

So we're tweaking the schedule again, except this time it's not another elaborate attempt at creating the perfect calendar I'm magically going to follow down to the minute. lol It's about actually protecting some of the time I've already said belongs to my business. It's about recognizing that Do The Dang Thang isn't the hobby I work on after all the "real" work is finished. It IS real work. My programs are real work. My writing is real work. My research is real work. Building something that could eventually change what our life looks like is absolutely fucking real work.

And apparently we're also going to be running a whole lot of self-confidence frequencies while we're at it, because why use one tool when I can throw the entire damn toolbox at myself? IYKYK

Maybe the goal isn't to magically wake up tomorrow completely fearless. Maybe I don't need to eliminate every ounce of doubt before I launch something. Maybe I can be nervous and still hit publish. I can wonder whether people will buy and still put the offer out there. I can worry someone might copy something and still create it. I can have a moment where I question whether I'm qualified enough, experienced enough, visible enough or whatever-the-fuck-enough my brain decides we're worrying about that day... and still take the next step.

Because I've spent enough time waiting to feel perfectly ready.

And maybe that's why that stupid little quote on my calendar hit quite as hard as it did this morning. 😂

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

I don't think my lesson is to stop helping other people build theirs. That actually IS part of my dream. I think the lesson is that I can't keep using how much I love helping everyone else as permission to continually put myself last.

There has to be room for both.

So, a few schedule tweaks, a whole lot of self-confidence work, some protected coaching time and probably several moments where I have to tell my own brain to shut the fuck up... and away we go.

Because I've researched enough.

I've planned enough.

I've reorganized enough.

Now it's time to actually build the damn thing.

And maybe one day I'll be standing in that same warm Utah salt water again - except next time there'll be a group of women standing there with me.

And you better fucking believe I'm bringing the chair, the blanket and the notebook!!!